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| In Mark 10, as Jesus and the 12 are heading to Jerusalem, Jesus tells the disciples once again what will happen to them there in no uncertain terms. After hearing once again of his death, and this time in the most minute detail yet, James and John come up to Jesus and say "Hey, Jesus, we want you to do whatever we tell you to right now!" Matthew goes into even more detail, letting us know in chapter 20 that the sons of Zebedee's mother asked Jesus for them.
Was it that difficult at the time to really understand what Jesus was about? Even the disciples, who seem to at least get it at some times, don't clearly understand. It would be really interesting to experience Jesus' ministry firsthand. I suppose that's what heaven is for.
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| Chess is such a difficult game,
With so many pieces.
So many places where you can go,
So few promises.
I feel this way right now. I feel so hopeful about my future prospects. I just got into grad. school at OSU. It was my first choice, and I expected not to get in. The English M.Ed program is very competitive, and I was just barely about the requirements. Maybe my awesome extracuricular and work experience got me in. Or maybe it was Jesus. :)
So I could go in, have a great year of grad school learning things I want to learn, and get a great job doing what I want, teaching. It won't be easy. I have no illusions about the difficulty of modern high school teachers, but I want to do it. I love teaching. I love making an impact. I feel I have a call to share in schools, but oddly enough, not with students as so many other people claim, but with my fellow teachers and other educational professionals. I think that would be a real impact.
I could defer for a year and then do another intern year, or STINT in France. I have a heart for ministry at Ohio State and American college students, but my heart ACHES continually for France, and not just college students, but all demographics, ethinicities, races, and strata of the entire country. I feel like no matter what God calls me to do, he will always tie me to the missionfield in that country in some way, and I see myself going back there for missions someday (and for a vacation too, because it's a great place to vacation, but missions first BEFORE vacation).
The negativity comes from my current predicament. My ankles have deteroiated to just little weak rubber bands holding my feet together. I sprained them both this week and have not been able to walk. The last three days I've barely worked and spent most of my time sitting or laying down with ice on my feet, popping ibuprofen every few hours. They are getting better, slowly, so I'm thankful, but I times I have fealt useless, worthless, lazy, and like I am failing God/Bacho/the SW students/my supporters. I wrote Bacho an email apologizing for missing work, but he wrote back and basically told me that that was silly, to take as much time as I needed to heal my body, and he encouraged me. Bacho is an incredible man, and I couldn't ask for a more patient, inspiring, and gifted man to lead. Not only does he do things like this, but I know he has helped me to improve in doing ministry, and has given me much insight into just being more Christ-like.
Street signs and traffic lights
ever confusing the issue,
Stop, left, go right, no u-turn,
Where's the gosh darn exit?
Never you mind all the others,
Influencing your next move,
Never you mind all the others,
Never you mind what they do,
I know it's hard,
Cause you got a lot to do.
Be gone, worldy influences! Be gone, stupid, trivial, meaningless influences! Get out of here, prideful ambitions! Get out of my head. Let me follow the path you've set before me.
On a lighter note, There Will Be Blood was a great movie. If you want to see someone bludgeoned to death with a bowling pin, go see it. (Plus many other things. It really is an excellent movie)
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| Sometimes I don't feel very optimistic or even excited about the future. Often it seems to me to just be more toil. It then becomes hard to see anything past this world. That is indeed something that I am struggling with lately.
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| I should know, since I'm taking one right now.
- Sleep
- Sleep
- Pray
- Eat foods that you believe will help fight your sickness, even though some of them you don't really have any reasons to think that they would help.
- Take medicine.
- Obsess about your life and where it's going.
- Obsess about all the mistakes made in a certain football game one week ago.
- Striking a deal with God just so your nose can be cleared up and you can stop breathing out of your mouth and having horrible cottonmouth every time you try to sleep.
- Drinking Orange Juice until you want to vomit, or actually do.
- Sweat.
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| This is all in good fun. I am quite guilty of many of these things. - Wearing huge scarves indoors (Sublisting 1a: This offense becomes even worse when the wearer continues to wear the scarf indoors even after removing the winter/light coat he or she is wearing, when the desperate-ness of wanting others to see his or her cool scarf wins over common sense, comfort, and that sweaty neck feeling).
- Keeping earbuds from an iPod in both ears/in one ear/wrapped around the neck/thrown over the shoulder even though he or she has no intention of listening to music anytime soon. (I'm guilty of this. I confess my pride and vanity, I wanted others to see how cool my new iPod was.) Extra points if the earbuds are the "trendy" white kind.
- Pronouncing the store name Target with an inaccurate French accent, like Tarjayh. Extra points if he or she has never even been to target before. (I am also guilty of this one)
- While in a conversation concerning the Bible or theology in some way, saying, in any order, the words "original," "definition," "possible," "alternate," "Hebrew," "Greek," "word," "could," even though he or she is not accurate with his or her knowledge of the original or alternate definition/meaning of the original Greek or Hebrew word.
- Listening to Fallout Boy. (unfortunately, I'm guilty again, but luckily no longer so)
- Using the word "bro" when he or she has known the object of this supposedly affectionate name for less than one week. (guilty)
- Saying ANYTHING like "When God closes, a door, he opens a window/Let go and let God/and then God showed up" without really knowing what those phrases mean or any Biblical basis for it. (guilty)
- Wearing aviator sunglasses when it is not sunny/he or she is indoors. (guilty)
- Needlessly wearing underarmor, such as wearing it at anytime when he or she is NOT playing/participating in some kind of physical activity.
- Having the opinion that the SEC is better than the Big Ten because SEC schools play SEC schools and Big Ten schools play Big Ten schools.
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